Robin Kessler - Competency Speaker and HR Consultant

Using competency-based strategy

In Uncategorized on September 14, 2011 at 4:52 pm

Mahatma Gandhi said, “An eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, and the world will soon be blind and toothless.”

Implied? Maybe there’s a better way to handle our conflicts and disagreements than plotting direct payback or revenge.

We know that managing our emotions is a big part of emotional intelligence. Unfortunately, there will also be people in our lives who decide to talk badly about us to others, even when we’ve done nothing to directly provoke them. When we find out, how do we handle it? Do we confront them or decide to ignore their bad behavior? Are we able to take comfort in the idea that they may be making themselves look mean-spirited to others?

One of my friends who offices down the hall told me he believes, “Like attracts like.” By responding the same way the other person did, we may simply be perpetuating the conflict.

How is this related to our personal and professional competencies? Consider making a commitment to improve your interpersonal skills and organizational awareness this year. Be more strategic with dealing with others, and be careful who we choose as a confidant or friend, especially at work.

I heard about someone who complained about how much money something was going to cost in front of a person she should have, strategically, been trying to impress. Remember that people have different values, especially about money, and not everyone finds complaining cute and clever.

But all of us can make the commitment to work on improving our response when people push our emotional buttons.  I recently took one of the online emotional intelligence quizzes and realized my score was 15-20 points higher than it had been four years ago when I took a similar test.

We can all get better at this by deciding that we need to do a better job of recognizing our emotions and consciously choosing our response, especially in work related situations that could provide evidence we are strong in key competency areas.

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