Robin Kessler - Competency Speaker and HR Consultant

Giving individual gifts

In Uncategorized on December 22, 2010 at 9:43 pm

At this time of the year, it is important to consider the needs of the people in our lives and recognize how much they mean to us. Key competencies like interpersonal skills, customer service, and organizational awareness help us make conscious choices about the gifts we give and the ways we show our friends,  family and special people in our personal and professional lives that they matter to us.

In his book, The 5 Languages of Love, Gary Chapman talks about how receiving gifts is one of the five most common ways people show that they care ( The others are words of affirmation, quality time, acts of service, and physical touch).  He makes it clear that this is not a materialistic thing in most cases – the receiver appreciates the thoughtfulness, effort and love it took to give the gift. It is a way to make someone feel you really know them – that they are special to you and valued.  If you have someone in your life who values gifts, choosing to skip giving them a gift for a special holiday or event tells them you don’t care, and it may be disastrous for the relationship.

Since many of us speak several of these languages, consider telling someone else thank you (or that you love them), spending one-on-one quality time with them, looking for ways to help them and following through if you say you’ll do something. If it is a personal relationship, give that special person a hug or a kiss or simply hold their hand, but please do not even think about taking this into your professional life.

Like  MBTI, DISC and other tools that help us understand that other people have different talents and perspectives, Dr. Chapman’s book helps give us another reason to take the time to choose a special, thoughtful gift for certain important people in our lives. It may matter a lot to them.


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