Robin Kessler - Competency Speaker and HR Consultant

Emotional intelligence

In Uncategorized on December 8, 2010 at 3:59 pm

One of the easier definitions of emotional intelligence:  the ability to identify, assess and control emotions.  When you look at competencies like interpersonal skills, customer service orientation,  and organizational awareness, you can see the relationship between emotional intelligence and certain key competencies is direct and strong.

At this time of the year, many of us have extra stress because of the expectations tied into the holidays, and we may unconsciously bring that stress with us to work. Few of us have perfect relationships; few of us have perfect families. I know one person who believes people who claim their family is just wonderful are probably deeper in denial than the rest of us.

Remember the importance of assessing and controlling your emotions so  you can keep your perspective. One of my students wrote in a paper on self-disclosure a few years ago that she wished she had not shared with a relative that she was uncomfortable with her mother’s new lesbian relationship, her father’s heavy drinking, and her cousin’s offer to pay her to have sex. Your parents or your children’s need to have their own way may not look as bad when you consider the issues others have to deal with.

One of my friends, Delphia York Duckens, suggested recently that I needed to remember to take some time each week to do the things I’d always loved doing –  going to new places, eating at new restaurants,  meeting new people, and setting up rewards for myself after doing something stressful. I suspect I am not the only one who needs to be reminded how important this is. Our ability to be emotionally smart may depend on it.


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